– Come What May –

On days like today

When the Sun perches at its highest peak
I can feel the warmth of your hand
Gracefully caressing my cheek

On days like today

When heaven knows no bounds
I gaze with adornment
In all that I have found

On days like today

With the gift of a cloudless sky
I can feel you peering back at me
As I look into the depths of your eyes

As the sun sets

I sit alone
Sipping the magic of ancient leaves
Whilst welcoming the unknown

Beneath the night sky

I wish I may
I wish I might

I whisper to the stars

For my love –
To kiss me goodnight

I whisper to the stars
To lead me home

So I may feel the Sun through your touch
So I may see the sky through the depths of your eyes
So I may kiss the sweetness of your lips

And know –
I am home

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– Satine –

The wind begins to shift
A sense of change fills the air
A momentary realization
Of something dire
No longer there

An overwhelming sense of desire
A burning, deep-seeded need

There is a keen sense of knowing –
What once was frozen earth
Holds new promise to be found
As this pining spark ignites –
Long-lost passion
Softens the February ground

As the wind begins to shift
Day transforms into night
The Sun has now set
And Her Majesty, illuminates the sky

An unconscious retrospect
Promotes a fight within
Reminisce, of my True Love
Calms this beast
Beneath my skin

A keen perception
Of bonds between clues
Awaken mirth and diversion
Of what originally had been refused

As the wind continues to shift
Its gentle guidance speaks of the west
To brave the crossing of this river
And lay Satine, to rest.

– Phoenix Rising –

Cremate the self
Be reborn from the ashes
Leave behind all the darkness
Leave behind the numbing pain

Rise like a phoenix
Allow the blood to flow
Embrace the fire
Which warms the soul

Breathe life into death
Allow the tears to heal
Any open wounds
That your heart may feel

Ignore the temptation
Of becoming forsaken

Embrace yourself
For you are the instrument
Of my resurrection.

– Creed –

A maven travels a sacred journey
In search of treasures untold
A seeker of knowledge
A seeker of truth
She strives –
For all that life has to hold

I have scaled the highest of mountains
I have marched through to the far sides of the Earth
I have journeyed through the darkest of valleys
In search of my most heart-felt wish
From lifetimes ago

His eyes; as deep as the deepest ocean
Caressing the soft, sun-soaked shore
His breath; as sweet and warm as the southern wind
So pure and so true
He left me yearning for more

It was midnight, in the garden of good and evil
Where I happened upon your soul
It was then –
The fires of Spring began to melt
The still bitterness, of Winter’s core

It was when you gazed into my eyes
I knew the most precious of treasure
Is made of neither silver, nor gold

I knew from the slow; smooth, star-lit strolls –
The most precious of treasure
Is the love you have
And the most precious of treasure
Is the love you hold.

Stepping Outside Of My Comfort Zone (with every fibre of my being)

This is my first attempt at blogging. I’m not entirely sure how this endeavour will turn out considering I have commitment issues with journaling, even though I am a writer and originally went to school for journalism (go figure). I don’t know about you, I’m definitely someone who should journal because it truly does help prevent one’s self from climbing and/or perching in one’s crazy tree but I seldom do – journal, that is. I tend to avoid it like STDs (or the plague).
 
There’s something very intimidating about writing on a blank page, especially for an overly self-critical perfectionist. Or maybe it’s because I talk to myself enough as it is, that writing down my thoughts is in itself redundant? 
 
It never ceases to amaze how our beautiful mind can rationalize ANYthing to avoid the truth. 
 
The truth is: I’m afraid of exposing my heart and soul. And I’m lazy. 

To be fair, I used to journal when I was a child but my secrets were invaded and were used to abuse, so I promptly stopped writing because it wasn’t safe. I used to buy elegant journals from Indigo, or other places with the intent and desire to write my unbridled thoughts, feelings and experiences but I never really did because I allowed my past to get in the way of present and future success. I have a collection of bound blank pages resting beautifully on my bookshelf; virgin, pure, innocent and unsullied from my human experience. Except for one, the one my best lady friend gave me for Christmas years ago – it’s the only book I have taken the time to write in but it took until fairly recently to build up the courage to do so. My first entry was:
  
Things To Do:
 
1. Change / take over the world
2. Laundry
3. Smell the roses

I’m an adult now and have been for some time, so I can’t project the blame towards who-shall-not-be-named for perpetuating my fear and laziness towards writing. The accountability and ownership of self-defeating tendencies falls in the owner’s lap (a.k.a. me). However, acknowledging where it began is necessary and a step in the right direction.

Simple Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy Process:

1. Identify source (from the beginning)
2. Acknowledge (intellectually and emotionally)
3. Adjust / change
4. Move forward

Let’s face it, at times, being human is the hardest thing to endure. No one effortlessly moves through life unscathed, like a ballerina performing Swan Lake at the Bolshoi Theatre. One can try to evade lessons and experiences but life will be like Bryan from ‘Taken’. Life will employ its particular set of skills, skills that make it a nightmare. Life will look for you, it will find you and it will kill your false self slowly from the inside out, in hopes you will rise like the preverbal phoenix from the ash in order to honour your true, beautiful self.

My best man friend recently said to me –

“Everyone at some point when going for their goals has a moment where they want to quit. I have, a couple of times. That’s normal, but you are one of those people, who even when they feel like giving up, won’t. That’s why I love you. I find strength in your courage, determination and pride. You are an amazing woman. I am so lucky to have you in my life. Thank you for being you…”

I mention the above because:

A.) This is an example of a good man
B.) When researching how to start a blog, one of the concepts listed – “think about how you want to help people.” 
 
I strive to make a difference every single day of my existence, in every single way. That is the point of my blog. Through my random cynical-optimism, I hope these words make you at least giggle, and feel less isolated in this beautiful mess we call life. 
 
“Together we stand, divided we fall” 
(Pink Floyd – Hey You)
 
Love Always —
 
Ps. I can’t promise I won’t unintentionally offend you at least twice – consider yourself forewarned.